Perpetual Noob Machine Episode 20: Dragon’s Prophet


Welcome, noobs! We’re a little late on this month’s episode again, but it is FINE.
This month we have our review of Dragon’s Prophet, the most metal game ever made, according to their trailer. It boasts an immersive fantasy world, but is it as immersive as Drift City’s interface? Let’s find out!

Special thanks to Shael Riley and the Double-Ice Backfire for the use of our theme song.

Master Armorsmith is right

Ms Elf Butt Monthly, January 2014!


God damn dragons holy shit!

Cid's scything the graphics engine itself

Aniden, yes of course

The Dragon's totally in.

“So it’s decided. We kill the Bat.”

This is about as close as I got before the game despawned me.

“I’m gonna fuck that volcano.”

But, however, daaamn.

This would’ve been the EBM winner had we not decided long ago that load screens and promo art don’t count.

"Hm, yes, dive dragon.  DIVE."

This was my pick for EBM this month. WHY IS HE FIRE EXCEPT FOR HIS ROCKBUTT

Level 90 let's fight it

Yes, hello fire giant, have you heard the good word about the DRAGOD?


He said no.

Assign Regret to Those Accountable

How about a little… KARATE

No, no that won't do at all.

Or maybe some… sexy karate?

Much better.  Is that designer?

Cid slips into something more comfortable.

Is... is my cereal still in there?  No?  Oh... alright...

Oh hey there

Everyone but Erik

Everyone is so happy it’s christmas

Good work John.

I don’t have a joke here this picture is just hilarious.

I am going to sword at it until it's unswordable

Speaking of handsome monsters…

They're going to have to re-SEARCH... for your corpse.

Don’t be alarmed! Let’s go into the woods.

"Alt text for the image, e.g. "The Mona Lisa"" as recommended by the gallery editor.

Why yes, I have considered modeling.

This was my screen for a good 10 minutes as I walked around.

Yes thank you game

At least it's not Erik, I guess?  Or is that worse.

And of course, we can’t get through a game with mounts without someone trying to fuck it.


Cid’s Gallery



  1. Special Guest John

    Aw man, I remember playing some Timon and Pumbas Bug Drop back in the day.

  2. Perpetual Noob Machine - Page 5 - pingback on February 10, 2014 at 12:49 am

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